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Onion News Network
Web Exclusive|03:06|
Author Jerry Bloom visits Today Now to explain how you can make your kitchen floor shine without falling and paralyzing yourself for life.

Drunk man crashed motorized bar stool and received DUI 38 mph
A man faces charges after police said he crashed a motorized bar stool while under the influence of alcohol.

Gnarls Barkley – Transformer

(00:35) Rough Cut
Mar 28 – Peruvian magician Princess Inca leaves onlookers spellbound as she seemingly levitates in mid-air.
Claudia Pacheco, aka Princess Inca, drew a multitude of fans for the event staged in the central Plaza de Armas square in the coastal capital city of Lima.
Although Princess Inca doesn’t reveal how she achieved the levitation, one [...]

Josh Ritter – Temptation of Adam (official video)

Otis Redding – Try A Little Tenderness

Man Puts Finger In Gas Tank, Gets Stuck For Hours
(AP) A Michigan man has learned not to stick his fingers in certain places. Victor Harris, of Saginaw, Michigan, was pouring a fuel additive into his Lincoln Navigator sport utility vehicle Thursday when a piece of paper fell into the gas tank. Harris tried to [...]

Patty Griffin – No Bad News

Man gets 90 days in jail in vacuum sex act case
SAGINAW, Michigan (AP) — A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison.
Jason Leroy Savage must also submit to drug testing.
The 29-year-old from Michigan, was sentenced Wednesday at Saginaw County Circuit Court. Savage [...]

Joss Stone & Mavis Staples – I’ll Take You There